Testing, Testing… Can you Hear Me Now?

Here is one thing that I have found to be consistent on my Spiritual Path these last 20 years: Whatever I intend to be, change or create in my life, the Universe will give me LOTS of opportunities to practice. It happens so quickly now, that sometimes my head is actually spinning. And sometimes it does feel like a test, and I often feel that I either fail flat out or come up short. Since I am vocal about my own spiritual growth, through these musings and my talks on Sunday, it is sometimes quite public when I am presented with one of these “tests” so it is very obvious if I am “walking my walk” and “talking my talk.” Hence, the outright failure or coming up short is also sometimes public. Well, another one of my intentions is not to hide, so there’s that.

And I have learned to put it all in perspective. I am just human. I make mistakes like everyone else. This is part of my growth. I’ll do better next time. All true, but I want real transformation (yes, greater patience is also one of my intentions and I’m still practicing that). I understand that it needs to be incremental initially, and it’s good to celebrate every try againsmall progression, but sometimes I really feel like the Itsy, Bitsy Spider. I work so hard at climbing that water spout (of my consciousness). I am almost to the top, and here comes the rain again… someone says something, does something, or things in my world are not really changing yet… and the doubt rains down again, and my intentions and my dreams are washed out. But just like the Itsy, Bitsy Spider, I am persistent (if nothing else), and so out comes the sun of my Higher Consciousness, the Light of Divinity in me and I start my climb again.

Last week, I mused about family. Many of you related, as you shared with me. Not surprising, because our true beliefs are mirrored in our most intimate relationships. And that is the key… when we are tested, or our buttons are pushed, the real growth comes when we can identify our own belief that is being mirrored by the “button pusher.” That is what we are meant to hear. The parts of ourselves that we have rejected or our most hidden beliefs want our attention. They want to be brought into the sunlight of Divine Love. That is the real test… can you hear your own doubt, your own fear, your own hidden beliefs of lack or unworthiness and bring the light of compassion to yourself? Can you hear that in the midst of what is coming up for you when your attention is on the person or experience outside? All of life is an invitation to go within.

Last week my intention was to give as my gift to the family of the earth, understanding, acceptance, compassion and love. I have been “tested” quite often since making this intention. Not to see if I would pass or fail, but to give me the opportunity to see any of my own hidden beliefs or flaws so that I could be understanding, accepting, loving and compassionate with myself and those parts of me. Then, and only then, I can accept and love others, even when they are showing those same qualities. When we make an intention, we will see all the places in ourselves that are unlike that which we are asking to be, so that they can be healed.  Remember, we can only receive that which we are. We can only give to others that which we are.

Because we are all connected in this beautiful web of life, our consciousness, our beliefs, the actions we take don’t only affect us, they affect everyone we touch. Whether we make itsy, bitsy progress in this web of consciousness or not, every incremental movement affects the whole. The good news is: You cannot fail. It has never been a test of how good you are at life or in life. It is only a “test” of how much more you can accept and love yourself, and even if that is an itsy, bitsy bit more every day, that is miraculous. Be persistent in that and don’t let the rain of perceived failure or unworthiness ever wash away your dreams.

Consciously build a web of new beliefs based on the Spiritual Truth of who you are. Just as a spider creates a web from it’s own body, so too do we create the web of our life from our own body of beliefs.  The video this week is exceptional.  In 3 minutes you can receive 20 keys to conscious creation from Gregg Braden, author of The Divine Matrix (matrix… web… same).

Let it raise you back up the spout of your consciousness.  And thank you for every itsy, bitsy bit of love you bring into the world. I can hear you now!

Blessings beloveds,
Rev. Janice

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